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Monthly Archives: January 2017

Settle Issues in Long Distance Marriage

Be Creative

In a long distance marriage, it is common for a wife to worry about the thought that her husband might be looking for other woman to fill-in her roles as a wife. If you feel this way, avoid rushing into conclusions just yet. Instead, ask your partner on how you could satisfy his needs despite of the distance between you, and be creative in looking for ways on how to fill-in these needs.

Talk About Future Plans

Despite the distance between you and your spouse, you should still be able to make plans about your family’s future. Do not forget to discuss about your future plans whenever you two would talk over the phone, and then ask your partner on how you could make these plans come true. This way, you and your spouse would have something to look forward to, which makes the marriage even more exciting.

Solve Your Problems Immediately

Do not allow the distance between you and your spouse to prevent you from resolving whatever issues you two have. If you are having marital problems, try to look for solutions in resolving the matter right away, instead of just ignoring your spouse and avoiding the problems. Don’t wait for your spouse to come home before fixing the problems, because this might just make the situation even worse.

Dealing with marital problems is never easy, and it’s even more difficult if you two are in a long distance setup. But if you are just determined to make the relationship work despite of the distance, then your marriage will be a success. So if you are in this situation now, then follow the tips above to make your long distance marriage work.

Pick great Movie For First Date

1. Don’t watch a movie with a lot of excessive violence or adult themes. The last thing you want to do is make your date think that this is a representation of who you are. It’s never a good look, and regardless of the spin you try to put on it, it just comes off as bad taste.

2. On the other hand, avoid movies whose intended audience is one digit. If there is one thing that most people do not want to be privy to is a date in a state of arrested development. You’re both adults, and you want to be sure you choose a movie that at least acknowledges that maturity.

3. Be weary of romantic comedies. Many people consider these movies to be fool-proof, but be warned — unless you have a sense of the type of discourse and conversation you’d like to have with your date, you may be opening up the proverbial Pandora’s box of first-date poison.

4. If you plan on incorporating dinner at some point, why not try going to a dine-in theater that not only has a great movie-watching environment but also has gourmet food and adult libations on tap? This way, you avoid perhaps the most cardinal of first-date rules — don’t be late to anything.

5. Always have a back-up plan ready. No one wants to think about it, but unfortunately, things go wrong on dates, but having a good attitude that can both diffuse a tough situation and show a spontaneity can get things back on track. Have a couple of movies to choose from in case one is sold-out. If you do happen up upon your local dine-in theater and your meal isn’t exactly right (and barring reasons based on allergies), take it in stride, eat heartily, and discuss the matter with management after the movie.

Tips To Be Happy Together

– A sense of respect for each other. Your better half should have the ability to offer you the same regard that is expected from you as well. This will typically involve the respect for your special individuality, including your ability to laugh at both yourself and others and thus your attitude towards humor.

Additionally this involves a feeling of respect for your rational decisions under all possible circumstances. It is also about approving your choices and fully understanding it. In basic terms therefore, shared regard in a partnership means that you value each other’s differences and also fully understand, yet not consciously attempt to alter each other’s individuality that identifies you as a special person.

– Honesty with each other. This ought to go together with openness, as trust is based on exactly how truthful your partner is to you. How can you rely on someone who cannot be straightforward with you? You’ll have doubts the next time he tells you where he’s going or who he’s going with, especially once you’ve caught your partner in a major lying scandal.

– A sincere trust for one another. Rely on a means of understanding that your companion is devoted to you, regardless of exactly how many tempting possibilities surrounding him at that time. When you are in the same space and happen to see your boyfriend talking to a new girl, you would know deep inside that your partner loves you enough to not possibly mess around.

Everyone is qualified and human enough to really feel envious. It is nevertheless, a very normal emotion, and the manner in which you react to that emotion is what will certainly count. Envious and negative type behavior will not only bring you down, but also not be healthy and balanced for your relationship.

– Support. Your partner will not just need your assistance throughout bothersome times. There will be times when people will appear from almost nowhere to provide a helping hand when your world at that time seems to be somewhat chaotic. To the contrary however, when you also need to celebrate during happy times, the same support is needed. It is therefore good to have a person to share both triumph and also happy times with. It leaves a person with a consistently good feeling to know that you have a person who relies on your abilities and also commemorates your achievements with you.

– Separate Identities. This often implies the necessity to compromise in circumstances where there is a noticeable difference in passion. This does not need to end up with one losing his identification, just to align with the other person. Both companions should still be able to have time for their own passion, similar to when they started with the romantic connection.

– Fairness. This means that you are not keeping count of how many times the other person has made the decision for the two of you as an intimate couple. This could lead to a phenomena where the decision-making process is being consciously turned into a power struggle as to who should get his way.

– Open communication. This suggests being able to reveal exactly how you really feel in an honest manner, as well as being truthful to your partner without concern of having your openness misunderstood. Having the sincerity to speak exactly what is on your thoughts, and to appreciate that what you express verbally, will certainly be taken in good faith.

Sweet Relationships Go Sour

Know What’s Yours and What’s Not – Because there are two or more people involved, and you’re only in control of one of them, you have to know what’s yours, and what’s not.

– What you’ve contributed to the issue,

– What your responsibility is to yourself and the other person,

– and what you need to do about that part.

The rest is theirs, and you have no control over that, but I guarantee you if you spend your energy fixing yourself, you’ll be miles ahead in your relationship potential. Often when you fix your thinking, and the problems fix themselves. So there’s your Work. Fix your own thinking, take responsibility for your part, be humble and vulnerable. Try to see it from all people’s perspectives, and allow others the freedom to have their own viewpoint. Their viewpoint is not right or wrong… It just is what it is. Let go of the need to control others, and do your own Work.

When in conversation about the conflict or issues, rather than defending yourself, (you don’t need to defend who you on the high road), listen to the other person(s) and let you know you heard them. Don’t judge. You’ll never be perfect and neither will others. Don’t make people wrong. As long as you’re making people wrong, there can be no connected relationship.

Have Faith – I learned while going through some tough years of being disconnected from someone so extremely important to me, to stop holding on so tight. Someone suggested that I let it go so that God could pick it up. I never forgot that. That became my Work. Having faith that if I held the intention of what I wanted, and let go of the need to control the timing, that it would happen just the way it’s supposed to.

And so I did, and it was hard, and I waited a long time, and I loved anyway, and I shared my most painful emotions with my closest circle of people, and I cried and yearned for things to be better but it took what seemed like an eternity of waiting. In those times I learned about the fragility of relationships. Of how quickly something so sweet could go sour, and I wept, but I also grew. I expanded and I became stronger and more resilient. Today, I have that person back in my life, and he’s precious like the greatest most fragile and valuable gift in the world. Have faith!

Spice Up Your LDR

FIND SIMILARITIES

You might find this too mushy mushy, but no. It actually helps. Do a random 1-10 rating rapid fire round and find out what he/she likes most about what you like too. They might end up liking what you love too. But no, don’t expect your boyfriend to rate clothes and accessories. If you want to, give him an option of going negative on numbers.

GIVE SPACE

THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE. Let the other person breathe. If they want to go out, let them. If they don’t want to text you for some time, let that be it. Don’t make a fuss out of small issues. Sometimes, even if it’s the hard truth, the fact is that we need ourselves more than we need our better halves. Sometimes your importance defines your relationship. What you need is probably more important that what the relationship needs at the moment.

One of the biggest problems that come up are boyfriends (even girlfriends sometimes) telling their better halves to not dress up the way they do. IT’S A BIG NO NO TO THAT. Dress up the way you want to. Dress up for yourself. Make sure what you do makes you happy because that’s how you’ll be able to keep the relationship working. And stay away from people who tell you what to do.

TAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER

Everyone in a serious relationship would understand this. With the growth of the relationship, people start understand that they have some responsibility and duty towards their partners. And so, taking decisions becomes very important. Talk about things. Talk about life long goals and make sure that you help each other decide what you want. This helps one develop their relationship their own way.

TRUST EACH OTHER

This is too mainstream but true. Be there for each other when you need each other the most. Everyone makes a mistake for which you stop trusting them. But if you’re looking for ways to make your relationship stronger, then make sure you also see how much effort your partner is making in order to gain your trust back. Please don’t make them feel like they committed a crime. It’s really very immature to get in between all those mistakes from the past in your present fights. Stop that.