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Category Archives: Relationship

Get Man To Commit To You

Get A Life

Men are very visual creatures. As much as you might rant and rave about backing off from your relationship if your man does not commit, he will not take you seriously unless he sees some action. Therefore, get a life of your own and show him that you can be independent without him, and that you have the ability to enjoy life on your own. When you show him by your actions that you do not need him in order to be fully happy, then he is more likely to commit to you.

Make decisions of your own and spend some time with your girl friends. If you man begins to feel that you are slowly drifting away from him, then he will begin to think of ways to get you to commit, so that you will remain with him.

Set Standards For Yourself

Some women feel that a man would want to marry them if they cater to every whim of his. While you do not need to hold out on him for every single thing, and while you do not need to be absolutely critical of everything that he wants, set some standards for yourself too. Don’t be a doormat.The more accommodating you are, the more your man will tend to take advantage of you, consciously or unconsciously.

End Up in Toxic Relationships

You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.

It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc.

Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!

Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship.

Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.
Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There’s a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.

Deal With Jealousy

Jealousy needs to be expressed in relationship, but expressed in the right manner. And here are some of the reasons why I believe so:

1) It’s in our nature to be jealous, and it’s also in our nature to express our jealousy. Because keeping it inside, will typically lead to unresolved jealousy feelings, that would later on turn into deeper problems, constant fights, doubts and worries.

However by communicating our jealousy to our partner, we are able to clarify it, and thus let go of those tense feelings.

2) Expressed in a right way – jealousy means that you love your partner. You know what women say “If he’s jealous, it means he loves me”.

3) Not expressing your jealousy, means giving permission to your girlfriend to continue behaving the same way.

The Right Way To Express Your Jealousy
Healthy Jealousy

So, what I am telling you here is that it’s okay to be jealous, it’s okay to show it, but you have to do it in a healthy way.

By avoiding the extremes I mean:

Avoiding the extreme of being totally indifferent about her accepting attention from, or paying too much attention to, other men. This is the indifference extreme, and it means that you don’t want to accept her behaving in ways that could potentially make you jealous.

And avoiding the extreme of being overly jealous and becoming needy as a result. It means avoiding to behave like an adolescent, and constantly complaining about her going out too much, calling her 10 times a day, being overly controlling and fighting about any potential jealousy issues.

Expressing Your Jealousy In A Healthy Way

In my experience, expressing your jealousy in a healthy way, means following the next 5 steps…

1) Point out the situation that makes you feel jealous. Let’s say she’s receiving a text message from a guy while you’re talking on Skype.

2) Ask her if there’s anything that you should be jealous about, and let her explain what is that message all about.

3) Ask her: If I’d would be doing the same thing, in this case if I’d get a message from a girl, how would you feel? Normally, she’d admit that a similar situation would make her jealous too.

Note: You ask her this question in order to help her understand that the given situation is not very comfortable, and it would better if it would be avoided for the future.

4) Explain her why this situation makes you feel jealous, and let her know that you want her to be only yours. Something like:

“It makes me think that you’re flirting with other guys and plants doubts in my head. I don’t want to doubt your faithfulness, okay? You are my girl, and for this relationship to work I need to know that I can trust you.”

5) Let her assure you that you have nothing to be jealous about and then move on. Forget about it, and don’t bring it up anymore.

You must know Dating is Important

1) People get the opportunity to learn about themselves, others, and relationships before commitment. This provides a safe context. One gets time to discover the opposite sex and skills on issues of relationship. This must be done around people who care about you. This may include your parents, friends, youth pastor, coach, and others.

2) Provides a context for working through issues. That which people value now may change overtime. What you value now may not be good for you in the future. So dating allows you to discover your long term values. You might not marry the person you first loved. Why? Some changes take place as you discover yourself.

3) Relationship skills are built

Some necessary skills are not learned in families. A lot of work and skills are required in intimate relationships. Communications, trust, listening, sacrifice and honesty issues arise during the dating period. You become aware of your immaturity. You get to learn about relationship and how one function in a relationship.

4) It heals and repairs

Some people pass through hurts when they are young. They may have missed an opportunity to be loved. You find that they never experienced love. During dating they start feeling loved and accepted. That way they receive healing from someone that accepts and nurture them. The interesting thing is that many people do not marry their first love. This first relationship tends to be an environment for growth and healing to some. These singles get prepared for their final love relationship.

5) Dating is relational and has value in itself.

Some people use others selfishly in dating. They use it for self-gratification. However, some enjoy knowing the other person. So they give and receive in a godly way, interestingly not in a way that leads to marriage. Unmarried people do not share parts of themselves as they are expected to restrain from sexual intimacy. That is true love. Love that rushes to sex before knowing each other and getting married later is not true love.

6) You get to know your likes and dislikes in the opposite sex

There is so much that one learns about relationships during dating. One might desire to get something opposite what he experienced from relationship in a family situation. But he may discover that for a love relationship there is more than what he is making up for. You may discover that the attributes you thought you needed are not necessarily what is good for you.

7) You learn self-control and delay of some other gratifications

Some people think that a love relationship is just about sex. Sex needs to be forgone in dating. First learn to relate and to care for each other without sex. Once you mature in that first, there will be fewer problems once you get married. After getting married you can then climax your love with sex. Let there be boundaries in your dating and that will protect both of you. There is time for everything according to Ecclesiastes 3:1, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”


About Relationship Therapy

We maybe facing frustrations within our daily lives that we take out on our families and in particular our partner. This can then lead to arguments, arguments and bickering that turn into a daily occurrence and ultimately lead to unhappiness and frustration between us.

Often we can look to communicate more effectively and try to repair some of the damage, but despite our best efforts, we may need to rely on therapy or a professional to take a look at how we are within our relationship and give us a helping hand.

Interestingly once we take this decision to seek therapy or professional help, we can very quickly and easily start to repair the damage. Many couples on occasions do leave it too late before they seek help and the marriage can be beyond saving as the anger and frustration runs too deep.

Research carried out has shown that an average couple will remain unhappy for approximately six years before they seek outside help. Thats a long time to live with someone who you have devoted yourself too but just cannot now see eye to eye with.

Thankfully there are many ways you can seek relationship therapy. For example in an area, there has been an increase in couples looking for professional help with their marriage.

People are commuting and increasingly feel the stress and strain of having to commute and work in the city. They are also managing and coping with very stressful jobs and worrying about their families and ensuring bills can be paid. This stress and strain starts to put pressure on their relationships and over time it gets worse.

With so many professionals in the area, couples are finding many ways they can seek the much needed help to save their marriages. Help that encourages them to fall in love with the person they walked down the aisle with all those years ago.

Relationship therapy can be difficult to admit to needing at first, with many people feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable in talking about their personal and private feelings, but once therapy starts and they start to feel more comfortable with their therapist, many people feel pleased they chose to attend.

Therapy has proven to be very successful, with many couples regaining the love and respect for each other, they remember why they fell in love in the first place and find a better way to communicate.

A simple online search in the area or anywhere, will give you plenty of places you can turn to when you are in need of a little help with your marriage or partnership.

Women Looking for Couples

A classic is to ask for a picture of her with the newspaper showing today’s date. That is effective, though not too original. Some other ideas include holding something you like (like a stuffed animal or a dildo). If you had an interesting conversation about something related to her life, ask for a photo of her holding that particular object and making a funny face, showing her tongue or giving a kiss.

You can use some of these tricks to get a real photo and be playful with bisexual couples. It is a way to warm up the environment for the real thing.

Go beyond the looks and Chat

Bisexual women and bisexual couples engage in relationships not different from straight relationships. When you are looking for an encounter in a bisexual dating site, go beyond the looks and chat. You will find that there is a better chemistry coming from people you have something to talk about.

Even if you are just talking about sex, you can identify how experienced and how creative are the bisexual women you are trying to meet. It is no warranty that everything will work in real life, but you’ll have more chances to get a pleasant encounter.

Bisexual Couples vs. Bisexual Women

There is a saturation of bisexual couples looking for bisexual women for a threesome. Most likely when you post a request for females, couples will pop up inadvertently.

If you are not fond of a swinger like an experience, and you want strictly bisexual women, then ignore these replies and stick to your request. You will find that there is less time to waste when you just go for bisexual women instead of trying something you are not looking for.

NSA Advantages

Ask for NSA (No Strings Attached), not just to the bisexual women you are looking forward to meeting, but also to your couple. Be sure that your partner is OK with NSA and talk about it. Bisexual couples have to be confident and must trust each other before going after a bisexual dating site for an encounter.

Before meeting Bisexual Women, get to know their status

It is not that you care about bisexual women being single or married. However, when bisexual couples look for encounters, there are many things that a bisexual dating site cannot control. Some of the problems you might have depending on her status are:
1. Married bisexual women who chose to cheat on their husbands can eventually be caught, and you will have an angry man banging your door if she was not discrete.
2. Single bisexual women may not be as discrete as some bisexual couples might want.
3. Bisexual couples can be treated by bisexual women who want to engage in a one-on-one relationship with any of them later on without the couple’s consent.

Falling Staying in Love

If you enjoy each other’s company, you will make plans to spend more time together, during which you will hopefully come to know each other on a deeper level. You will learn about each other’s values, interests and leisure activities. More important, you will learn whether what you have to offer each other complements you both.

At some point, you will both come to a realization that you love each other or that you are not well suited. If you both reach the same conclusion one way or another you can proceed with your relationship or separate to go you own ways. One hurdle at this point is that both people seldom realize they are in love at the same time. One of you might have to wait a while to hear that your love is returned.

Many people think that is the end of the story and that they can continue on in their relationship without further effort. But it is not time to coast. Maintaining a relationship should not be a chore, but it does require ongoing attention. You are most likely aware of all the changes you make in your view of life from childhood through adolescence to adulthood. You might imagine that being an adult means you are all grown up.

If you have been an adult for a while think back to how you viewed yourself as you started your first job, what your interests and hobbies were then, and what was important to you. How have all these changed over the past few years? Also, the way you view your relationship changes over the years. What you want and need from your partner changes as well as what your partner wants and needs from you. If you never talk about this you will eventually find yourself in a relationship with a stranger, meeting neither of your needs.

If you want to stay in love, you need to love the person you are with now rather than the person you fell in love with. Your partner will have to do the same. Change is harder as you age and become set in your ways. It’s not impossible but it does require your attention and communication to stay on the same page.

Life Lab Lessons

  • Share your ongoing hopes, dreams and fears.
  • Learn your partner’s hopes, dreams and fears.
  • Be a good listener.
  • Stay flexible.
  • Share your life journey with each other.

Settle Issues in Long Distance Marriage

Be Creative

In a long distance marriage, it is common for a wife to worry about the thought that her husband might be looking for other woman to fill-in her roles as a wife. If you feel this way, avoid rushing into conclusions just yet. Instead, ask your partner on how you could satisfy his needs despite of the distance between you, and be creative in looking for ways on how to fill-in these needs.

Talk About Future Plans

Despite the distance between you and your spouse, you should still be able to make plans about your family’s future. Do not forget to discuss about your future plans whenever you two would talk over the phone, and then ask your partner on how you could make these plans come true. This way, you and your spouse would have something to look forward to, which makes the marriage even more exciting.

Solve Your Problems Immediately

Do not allow the distance between you and your spouse to prevent you from resolving whatever issues you two have. If you are having marital problems, try to look for solutions in resolving the matter right away, instead of just ignoring your spouse and avoiding the problems. Don’t wait for your spouse to come home before fixing the problems, because this might just make the situation even worse.

Dealing with marital problems is never easy, and it’s even more difficult if you two are in a long distance setup. But if you are just determined to make the relationship work despite of the distance, then your marriage will be a success. So if you are in this situation now, then follow the tips above to make your long distance marriage work.

Pick great Movie For First Date

1. Don’t watch a movie with a lot of excessive violence or adult themes. The last thing you want to do is make your date think that this is a representation of who you are. It’s never a good look, and regardless of the spin you try to put on it, it just comes off as bad taste.

2. On the other hand, avoid movies whose intended audience is one digit. If there is one thing that most people do not want to be privy to is a date in a state of arrested development. You’re both adults, and you want to be sure you choose a movie that at least acknowledges that maturity.

3. Be weary of romantic comedies. Many people consider these movies to be fool-proof, but be warned — unless you have a sense of the type of discourse and conversation you’d like to have with your date, you may be opening up the proverbial Pandora’s box of first-date poison.

4. If you plan on incorporating dinner at some point, why not try going to a dine-in theater that not only has a great movie-watching environment but also has gourmet food and adult libations on tap? This way, you avoid perhaps the most cardinal of first-date rules — don’t be late to anything.

5. Always have a back-up plan ready. No one wants to think about it, but unfortunately, things go wrong on dates, but having a good attitude that can both diffuse a tough situation and show a spontaneity can get things back on track. Have a couple of movies to choose from in case one is sold-out. If you do happen up upon your local dine-in theater and your meal isn’t exactly right (and barring reasons based on allergies), take it in stride, eat heartily, and discuss the matter with management after the movie.

Tips To Be Happy Together

– A sense of respect for each other. Your better half should have the ability to offer you the same regard that is expected from you as well. This will typically involve the respect for your special individuality, including your ability to laugh at both yourself and others and thus your attitude towards humor.

Additionally this involves a feeling of respect for your rational decisions under all possible circumstances. It is also about approving your choices and fully understanding it. In basic terms therefore, shared regard in a partnership means that you value each other’s differences and also fully understand, yet not consciously attempt to alter each other’s individuality that identifies you as a special person.

– Honesty with each other. This ought to go together with openness, as trust is based on exactly how truthful your partner is to you. How can you rely on someone who cannot be straightforward with you? You’ll have doubts the next time he tells you where he’s going or who he’s going with, especially once you’ve caught your partner in a major lying scandal.

– A sincere trust for one another. Rely on a means of understanding that your companion is devoted to you, regardless of exactly how many tempting possibilities surrounding him at that time. When you are in the same space and happen to see your boyfriend talking to a new girl, you would know deep inside that your partner loves you enough to not possibly mess around.

Everyone is qualified and human enough to really feel envious. It is nevertheless, a very normal emotion, and the manner in which you react to that emotion is what will certainly count. Envious and negative type behavior will not only bring you down, but also not be healthy and balanced for your relationship.

– Support. Your partner will not just need your assistance throughout bothersome times. There will be times when people will appear from almost nowhere to provide a helping hand when your world at that time seems to be somewhat chaotic. To the contrary however, when you also need to celebrate during happy times, the same support is needed. It is therefore good to have a person to share both triumph and also happy times with. It leaves a person with a consistently good feeling to know that you have a person who relies on your abilities and also commemorates your achievements with you.

– Separate Identities. This often implies the necessity to compromise in circumstances where there is a noticeable difference in passion. This does not need to end up with one losing his identification, just to align with the other person. Both companions should still be able to have time for their own passion, similar to when they started with the romantic connection.

– Fairness. This means that you are not keeping count of how many times the other person has made the decision for the two of you as an intimate couple. This could lead to a phenomena where the decision-making process is being consciously turned into a power struggle as to who should get his way.

– Open communication. This suggests being able to reveal exactly how you really feel in an honest manner, as well as being truthful to your partner without concern of having your openness misunderstood. Having the sincerity to speak exactly what is on your thoughts, and to appreciate that what you express verbally, will certainly be taken in good faith.