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Sweet Relationships Go Sour

Know What’s Yours and What’s Not – Because there are two or more people involved, and you’re only in control of one of them, you have to know what’s yours, and what’s not.

– What you’ve contributed to the issue,

– What your responsibility is to yourself and the other person,

– and what you need to do about that part.

The rest is theirs, and you have no control over that, but I guarantee you if you spend your energy fixing yourself, you’ll be miles ahead in your relationship potential. Often when you fix your thinking, and the problems fix themselves. So there’s your Work. Fix your own thinking, take responsibility for your part, be humble and vulnerable. Try to see it from all people’s perspectives, and allow others the freedom to have their own viewpoint. Their viewpoint is not right or wrong… It just is what it is. Let go of the need to control others, and do your own Work.

When in conversation about the conflict or issues, rather than defending yourself, (you don’t need to defend who you on the high road), listen to the other person(s) and let you know you heard them. Don’t judge. You’ll never be perfect and neither will others. Don’t make people wrong. As long as you’re making people wrong, there can be no connected relationship.

Have Faith – I learned while going through some tough years of being disconnected from someone so extremely important to me, to stop holding on so tight. Someone suggested that I let it go so that God could pick it up. I never forgot that. That became my Work. Having faith that if I held the intention of what I wanted, and let go of the need to control the timing, that it would happen just the way it’s supposed to.

And so I did, and it was hard, and I waited a long time, and I loved anyway, and I shared my most painful emotions with my closest circle of people, and I cried and yearned for things to be better but it took what seemed like an eternity of waiting. In those times I learned about the fragility of relationships. Of how quickly something so sweet could go sour, and I wept, but I also grew. I expanded and I became stronger and more resilient. Today, I have that person back in my life, and he’s precious like the greatest most fragile and valuable gift in the world. Have faith!